Xiaolin Showdown Porno Story: A Entire Pile of Nothing – Chapter 8

I apologize greatly for Raimundo’s OOC-ness in the last Chapter. And excuse my retarded Clay slang in here. This chapter will have a little bit of fighting, so I sorta dragged it out a bit. I need the practice with fight scene writing.

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I went looking for Matt after a couple minutes, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. It was like he just disappeared after he went looking for Raimundo. I’m guessing he went to the same place Raimundo did seeing as Rai always found some way to disappear for hours at a time. I wonder where they’ve gone off to.

When I walked into the gardens, I saw Raimundo flying down a tower with the Sword of the Storm. He was laughing at something, so I turned to where he was flying from. I caught a glimpse of someone pulling up their pants. When I realized it was Matt, I decided I’d have to have a talk with Raimundo later.

The next thing I wondered was how Matt planned on getting down. He turned and my heart dropped. “Please don’t jump, Matt”, I mumbled, cringing at the thought. I was relieved when I saw him begin scaling the wall. That is, until he ran out of footholds. This time, my stomach did a back-flip as Matt sprung off the wall.

It was a good 50 foot drop from the top of the tower to the ground, but he flipped off and aimed for a lower tier of the roofs. I could barely stand to watch him fall. When he hit the roof, he slid down the curved top and when he came to the end where it curved up, he flipped again and grabbed a tree branch. He swung around once or twice and launched himself into one of the garden paths.

I was stunned at the show, but it didn’t stop me from sprinting towards him. When I finally found him, he was walking along as if nothing happened. I stood directly in his path and crossed my arms. “And what have we been up to? Hm?” I asked when he was in ear shot. Matt just looked at me with a sort of confused look across his face. I could see this developing into a mother hen sort of thing, but I could really care less at the moment.

“Is there some reason you need to be jumping off of roofs and flipping and what not? I don’t much see the point in risking death just to get down the roof faster”, I could just imagine my mom clucking and tapping her foot the same way I was. Matt’s confusion dissipated to be replaced with a downcast, shameful puppy-dog face. It was more than I could take, so I just motioned for him to give me a hug and we laughed into the embrace.

When I let go Matt said, “Well, Raimundo had a Shen Gong Wu, so I didn’t see any way I could catch him if I climbed down. I guess it would’ve been a better idea since I had no chance of catching him anyways.” He gave a little sigh, “You’ve got to admit though, that was pretty cool.” A grin spread across his face that just screamed for me to pinch his cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see how cool it is when you end up in the hospital,” I clucked, ignoring the urge. “I nearly had a heart attack watching you fall. I should practice my tai chi a little more.” When I got into my stance, Matt just snorted and shoved me, knocking off my balance.

“Yeah right, Clay. You haven’t seen anything yet. You should’ve seen me when I started practicing le parkour. Not very pretty,” he laughed. He turned around and lifted a pant leg. His legs weren’t misshapen like I saw many scarred areas on other people were, but they had clearly darker stitch marks on the silky soft skin. The “tsk”s and clucks continued well after he lowered the pant leg.

A scowl from Matt silenced them. “What? You know what they say, ‘No pain, no gain’.” The tough guy face he attempted failed miserably and we burst into laughter when we couldn’t hold the moment any longer.

“Matt, I’ve been meaning to ask you something”, I told him after we finished laughing. The moment grew tense almost immediately when he saw my serious face. My heartbeat quickened like it always did when I dealt with these serious matters. I could feel my pulse skyrocket and my hands start to sweat.

The moment was interrupted when a racket came from inside the temple. Hearing Dojo scream something about a Shen Gong Wu alert, I grabbed Matt’s hand and we sprinted inside.

“What’s up this time, Dojo?”, asked Rai. Seeing us come in, he gave a quick look at our hands and then smiled at Matt. Matt blushed slightly and I had a feeling something happened with those two.

“It’s the Staff of Jupiter. It’s said to give the user greater strength and manipulation over lightning”, Dojo said.

“So basically, it’s like the Eye of Dashi except steroid version?”, asked Rai.

“You could put it that way I guess” shrugged Dojo. “Let’s get moving before anyone else crashes the party.”

—

Dojo took us over an ocean and what I assumed was a couple of countries. Before we left, Raimundo took the Sword of the Storm with the Eye of Dashi, Kimiko took the Star Hanabi, and Omi took the Orb of Tornami. My only Wu was the fist of Tebigong. Matt, being new, got the easiest to handle which was the Mantis Flip Coin, but after seeing his performance earlier I doubted he would need it.

We landed in a small clearing surrounded by mountains, very much like where we found the Eye of Dashi. After landing, we split up. Rai, Kim and Omi would go in one group and Matt, Dojo, and I would go in the other. As usual, the Shen Gong Wu search was very tedious and frustrating at points.

“Where could that staff thingie be?”, I grumbled.

“Close. Really, close”, answered Dojo while scratching his usual Shen Gong Wu rash. It was really disgusting, but you get used to it. Matt was still distracted by it for a good portion of the search time. Dojo led us into the direction of a cave, and when we got there, Omi, Rai, and Kimiko arrived.

“Any luck?” asked Kim. Nobody needed to answer because of Dojo’s convulsions coupled with the fact that we weren’t carrying any staffs.

As we entered the cave, all of the light faded into near complete darkness.

“Whoo-wee! It’s darker than a black bear in a tar pit down here”, I yelled to ease the tension. As soon as I did say it though, a light appeared around a bend in the tunnel. After a minute or two we came to the end of the tunnel where it opened up into a huge chamber. Inside the chamber, there was a ray of light that hit a crystal formation in the center of the room. That small light reflected all across the room on more crystals.

The chamber was amazingly bright considering the amount of light it was given. The very walls seemed to glow. As we walked through the cave, the light flickered and dimmed in places, making it seem like we were walking in a melting mirror.

After further inspection, there was one more ray of light. This one hit a long decorated staff that was a glittering bronze-gold color. along its edges, there were writhing designs of what seemed like vines made of metal. When we ran over to grab it, an explosion came from behind us.

“Not so fast Xiaolin Losers!”, called a rather annoying girlish voice. Immediately, we took our fighting stances and faced a swarm of robots coming out of a large hole in the cave wall. Luckily, the cave seemed to withstand the blow and showed no signs of imploding. Following the robots was a pale guy with too much make up. When he smiled, Matt cringed at the yellow teeth.

“Jack Spicer!”, called Kimiko. “Why don’t you go back home and play with your toys before we have to kick your butt?” Kimiko temper, as usual, was flaring up pretty fast. The rest of us waited for a reply. However, Jack seemed to be accustomed to Kim’s derision, so he just ignored her and turned to Matt.

“Who’s this? A new dragon?”, he asked motioning to Matt. I took a step forward coming between Jack and Matt.

“None of your business Jack, now get a move on before we have you squealing like a suckling pig”, I growled.

This obviously didn’t suit Jack, so he yelled, “Jackbots attack!”, and the robots sprung into action. They came at us with their usual spinning saw blades and lasers while Jack went for the staff. Raimundo was taking them out right and left with bolts of lightning and Kimiko was holding her own with streaks of fire. Omi had frozen and broken at least a dozen Jackbots, so he was fine. Matt surprised me by flipping into the middle of the action and destroying two in one move. I was snapped out of my stupor when a piece of shrapnel grazed my arm. It was my turn now.

I took on the rest of the Jackbots myself and successfully smashed four in a row with the Fist of Tebigong. The others went to retrieve Jack but our imminent victory was dampened by the arrival of Chase Young. All fighting ceased in his wake. The very last robots were destroyed just as Chase entered.

“Ah, young monks, I see you’ve found a new friend”, Chase stated smugly. “Let’s see how he holds up, shall we?” Matt’s attention turned to Chase as he transformed and charged at him. Chase’s other form was a dragon-like creature with many stripes, claws, and fangs. With a little hesitance, Matt dodged Chase’s first blow and they began laying into each other.

As roars and grunts echoed of the cave walls, Rai, Kim, Omi, and I made our team formation. In unison we yelled, “Wudai Orion Formation!” and all you could see of us was our outlines. The next thing we knew was that Matt was thrown into the wall behind us. His robes were ripped by now, but there were only scratches across his face.

Omi and Kimiko went after the staff that Jack still hadn’t managed to get while Rai and I stayed to help Matt with Chase. As Chase emerged, he seemed pleased with something and his gaze was trained straight on Matt.

“Very interesting. What, may I ask, is your name?” he asked Matt. When Matt noticed that the fighting had stopped for the moment he stood straight.

“Matthew”, Matt said slowly. The tension was so thick you could cut it. They stared at each other intensely. Matt’s face was hard as stone, whereas Chases was dripping with smugness detectable even with the dragon fangs.

“Well, then, shall we continue?”, asked Chase after a minute, lunging at Matt. However, I wouldn’t let that continue so easily.

“Wudai Crater: Earth!” I yelled, forming rock fists. I caught Chase by the tail and swung him into the ground before he could reach Matt. Chase however, quickly recovered and swatted Rai and me away like flies before advancing on Matt again. This time, I couldn’t hurt Chase without some danger of hitting Matt, so Rai and I focused on getting in on the fight.

Chase’s blows seemed to just miss Matt by a hair, but Matt wasn’t fairing well. He had a couple more scratches now, but a gash here and there too. Rai and I pulled Chase out and laid into him. The blows were furious and there were a couple boulders and gusts of wind mixed in there. Matt ran off to retrieve the staff with Kim and Omi.

As I was pounding Chase with the Fist of Tebigong, a dazzling light came from behind us. We all stopped when a showdown started up. The cave morphed and there was a jungle gym of crystal that was set up inside the cave. I looked around and we were in our Wudai Warrior uniforms now, except for Raimundo and Matt. Rai had a black version of the uniform with flames licking at the arms and legs. Matt’s version was white with no mask.

Apparently, the challenge was first to fall of loses. Matt wagered the Mantis Flip Coin and Jack had the Monkey Staff. It didn’t seem like a very fair match, but I had confidence in Matt.

Matt shot us a reassuring look and then proceeded to the jungle gym. He and Jack met somewhere near the top. Had the ceiling been there still it would have been reduced to rubble with the raising of the gym.

“Gong Yi Tan Pai!” resounded in the chamber and there was a flash of light that reflected off the crystal as the showdown began.

Jack pulled a cheap move early in the game by swinging round and physically pulling Matt of of a bar. Matt however, just grabbed the next one and swung back up where his foot met with Jack’s face. As Jack came back around, Matt flipped up and delivered a strong blow to Jack’s back, sending him hurdling down.

Jacks tail saved him and he swung back up. This time, Matt came in from the side, wrapped his legs around Jack and grabbed a bar. From there, he swung around it until he built up enough speed to launch Jack downwards. Again, Jack wasn’t to be defeated.

Jack landed a couple grazing blows, but on the whole, Matt was too fast for him. One blow in particular came down on Matt’s arm and Matt let go of the flip coin. I cringed at the sight, and Jack scooped it up while swinging on a bar. He laughed a very monkey-like laugh and swung another bar away.

“What now, new guy?”, he gloated. Matt responded with a grunt and charged Jack. While Jack was laughing, Matt came from below him with a spinning kick. Even without the coin, Matt was able to do a couple flips to regain his balance.

“I don’t know”, grunted Matt. He was coming in on Jack with both feet. Unfortunately for Jack, Matt’s blow landed.”You tell me!” His sentence was punctuated with the dull thud of Jack hitting a bar.

It was obviously taking a toll on Jack just to stay in the game, but there was no way that Matt was going down. Matt came in from Jack’s side again, landed a double-footed blow and pushed off to deliver a devastating axe-kick to Jack’s back. That did the trick and Jack was down for the count.

The showdown ended and Matt was left holding two staffs and a coin. He pocketed the coin and then threw the Monkey Staff to Omi. Immediately, Omi’s body was covered with thick fur, and he hopped behind Matt.

“Matt, as usual, that was most impressive” chirped Omi. Matt only smiled and rubbed Omi’s head. Had he had any hair, it would have been ruffled.

I rushed over to them and received a hug from Matt. While Rai and Kim came over, I noticed that Chase was still with us. Matt followed my gaze and his smile quickly faded.

“So,” was Matt’s only comment.

Chase’s only reply was to chuckle and go back into his fighting stance. This time, he was in his human form. But this time, Matt had the Staff of Jupiter. Chase charged him and Matt simply stood and fought with the staff like a normal weapon.

The blows kept on coming and it seemed like neither of them was gaining ground. The point came where Chase landed a slash across Matt’s back. Matt cringed in pain for a moment, and was knocked back to the other side of the cave.

I started running in his direction, but he was already up and ready again. Considering the circumstances, Matt was doing pretty well, but it still didn’t mean he was in good shape. Chase had barely a scratch on him while Matt was bruised and bloodied. Matt didn’t seem to notice though because he just got back up and faced Chase again.

This time, Matt pulled out the new Shen Gong Wu. “Staff of Jupiter: Lightning!”, Matt called. We were all a little shocked, but in a good way at Matt’s apparent lightning abilities. Electricity sparked across his frame and his eyes twinkled with power. Chase didn’t seem phased though and went straight back to the fight.

The tables had turned greatly after Matt’s power-up. Each blow was accompanied by a spark and jolt of electricity and the staff hissed as it darted through the air. I wanted to get in on it, but it seemed like I would only get in the way in addition to getting a good shock or two. When Chase was downed, Matt spun the staff and created a dazzling wheel of lightning. With the staff, Matt struck the ground and sent the wheel hurdling towards Chase. The next thing I knew there was a flash and a bang where Chase just was.

As the dust cleared, Chase was nowhere to be found. We looked to the site of impact and there was a huge crater with a trail of charred stone leading back to Matt. I was wondering what happened to Chase; that is, until a chuckle echoed behind us.

Chase was perched at the gap in the chamber. “Very good, young monk. Very good.” chuckled Chase. “I hope to see more of you in the future.” That was all he said before making his nonchalant exit.

Matt stood tall in Chase’s presence, but just collapsed after it was all over. I caught him before he fell to the ground and he was still clutching the staff while he fell into my arms.

“Matt!”, yelled Kimiko, rushing to his side. It was a very tense moment and we were relieved after she checked for a pulse. This whole mission turned out to be a success, but it was overshadowed by Matt’s surprise powers. I brushed a lock of hair out of his face and it was almost shocking (no electricity pun intended) how that power could come out of such a vulnerable looking person.

None of us talked about what just happened, and I think we were all glad not to. It seemed like Master Fung had some explaining to do when we got back to the temple. Dojo transformed almost silently and we got on for the ride home.

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le parkour is basically like urban ninja stuff. I’m pretty sure it’s Russian Urban acrobatics.

Sorry for this chapter. I’m getting a little more free time, so I’ll be posting a little more often. I hope you enjoyed this one too, and thank you for my third review.